For many of us moms, the signs are quiet but clear.
The way she suddenly slams her door a little more often.
The new insecurity in her eyes when she looks in the mirror.
The questions she doesn’t know how to ask, and the changes she doesn’t yet understand.
You feel it in your gut, your little girl is growing up.
And while you may have started preparing by looking for her first bra, Googling “early signs of puberty,” reading gentle ways to bring it up, there’s often one person still on the sidelines of this very important chapter: Dad.
In most Indian homes, conversations around puberty are still seen as a “mother-daughter thing.” Dads often stay distant, either out of discomfort, conditioning, or just not knowing how to be part of it.
But here’s the truth:
Girls who grow up with emotionally present fathers tend to navigate puberty with more confidence, body positivity, and mental well-being.
According to UNICEF India, daughters who feel supported by their dads during adolescence report stronger self-esteem and healthier emotional boundaries.¹
So, how do we invite dads into this conversation, especially if they didn’t grow up having these talks themselves?
Let’s take it one step at a time.
1. Reframe Puberty as a Parenting Moment and Not a “Girl Topic”
It helps to start with the simple truth:
Puberty is not about pads and bras, it’s about emotions, identity, and feeling seen.
Tell your partner:
“She’s going through a lot, quietly. This is less about her body and more about how she feels in it. She needs both of us right now.”
Dads often want to help, but don’t know how to. Starting with this emotional lens opens the door.
2. Don’t Blame Him for Not Knowing, Invite Him to Learn With You
Instead of saying, “You never talk to her about these things,” try:
“I think we could learn this together. I’m still figuring it out too.”
This keeps it collaborative, not confrontational.
Offer to share what you’ve been reading, suggest a short podcast from The Transition Tapes with Apoio, or even ask him to be part of one conversation, just to listen. Once he sees how much it matters, he’s likely to show up more.
3. Suggest Simple, Tangible Ways He Can Support
Dads don’t have to lead deep, emotional talks right away. Sometimes, showing up in small, everyday ways has a huge impact. For example:
- Let him help pick out beginner innerwear together online (brands like Apoio offer soft, age-appropriate options, no awkward lace or adult patterns).
- Ask him to help create space for privacy at home without teasing or comments.
- Encourage him to treat her changing moods with empathy, not jokes.
Each of these helps her feel safe in her growing body, especially in the presence of a male figure she trusts.
4. Normalize His Discomfort, But Encourage His Growth
If he says, “I don’t know what to say,” that’s okay.
Remind him:
“You don’t have to be perfect. You just need to be present.”
Even a simple line like “I’m here if you ever want to talk” can make a girl feel seen. She may not respond right away, but she’ll remember the effort.
5. Help Him See the Bigger Picture
Puberty isn’t just about physical change, it’s about emotional safety.
When girls grow up with dads who respect their space, listen without judgment, and celebrate their growth, they internalize these messages for life.
In fact, a 2019 study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health found that positive father-daughter communication directly correlates with lower levels of body dissatisfaction and anxiety during puberty.²
The Bottom Line: You’re Raising Her Together
It’s easy to fall into default roles when parenting gets complicated. But the truth is, she’ll remember how both her parents showed up, not perfectly, but lovingly.
At Apoio, we’re not just designing beginner bras and underwear. We’re designing a safer, more supportive growing-up experience, for your daughter, and for you.
And we believe that journey should always be shared.
💗 Ready to have the “the talk”, but this time with your husband? Explore our page and learn more tips to navigate difficult conversations around puberty.
📌 Explore Now → [@apoio_india]
References:
- UNICEF India, “Fathers Matter: Engaging Men in Adolescent Girl Empowerment,” 2021.
- Journal of Adolescent Health, “The Impact of Father Involvement on Adolescent Body Image,” Vol. 65, Issue 4, 2019.
- Raising Children Network, Australia. “Helping Dads Support Teens Through Puberty.” 2020.
